Newsletter
Editor Rev.
Victor M. Parachin, M.Div.
JUNE 2012
Dear friends,
Adversity can make you better
if you don't let it
make you bitter!
The key is to turn adversity into
advantage. Here are some people who did that:
Abraham Lincoln was not
regarded
as a great leader until the great weight of the Civil War erupted
and showed
his character.
Helen Keller was destined to
a
life of loneliness and suffering because she was deafened and
blinded as an
infant. Yet she graduated from University becoming a best selling
author and
inspirational speaker world-wide.
Waler Raleigh,
who
became one of the most read novelists of the English
world, wrote
during a thirteen year imprisonment.
Martin Luther translated
the
bible into the language of the people while under house arrest at
the castle of
Wartburg.
Madame C. J. Walker was
orphaned at
7 and a widowed single parent at 20. To support herself and her
child, she
worked as a washer-woman by day while attending public school at
night. In
spite of those challenges, she went on to become one of the first
highly
successful African American female entrepreneurs and
philanthropists.
Whenever adversity comes
your way think about those who have overcome. Then, dig deep
within to tap the
inner resources you have to do the same.
Roman era poet Horace wisely noted:
"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in
prosperous
circumstances would have lain dormant."
BEREAVEMENT AND YOUNG PEOPLE:
SUGGESTIONS FOR
COPING
Like adults, teenagers feel the full
impact of loss when someone
important in their lives dies. Here are some simple suggestions
for younger
grievers to follow in order to better manage loss:
* Find support. This
could be
another family member or a friend. Your
supporter should be someone who is a good listener and is
non-judging.
* Watch your diet.
Some grievers
find they have no appetite while others use food to ease anxiety.
Be balanced
in your diet. If you don't have much appetite eat small, healthy
portions
regularly. On the other hand, be cautious about emotional eating
by brining
mindfulness to your meals.
* Stabilize sleep
disorders. If getting a good
night's sleep is difficult try these
suggestions for stabilizing sleep issues: going to bed and getting
up at
the same time (even on weekends); eliminating caffeinated drinks
in the
evenings (this includes sodas which often contain caffeine);
avoiding daytime
naps.
* Look
after your physical self. Get some exercise. This will
lift your mood
while strengthening your body. Walk, run, bike, roller blade,
swim, etc.
* Avoid smoking, drinking or
taking drugs. These activities are all counter productive
for grief recovery.
Furthermore, you make your body work harder to deal with
substances such as
nicotine, alcohol or illegal drugs.
These all end up making you feel worse.
THE GREATEST ASSET YOU HAVE....IS A
POSITIVE
ATTITUDE
Your quality of living is not
determined by what life sends your
way but by the
attitude you bring to what life presents.
Your quality of living is not
determined by what happens to you but by the attitude you take
toward what has
happened.
Your quality of living is not
determined by injustice, unfairness, mistreatment but by the
attitude and
mindset you adopt toward those difficulties.
It's true that the changes and
challenges which come your way can color and flavor your life
but you can use your mind to
choose what the color and flavor will be.
Your greatest asset is always a
positive, hopeful, optimistic, upbeat, and affirmative
attitude.
Today consider these words of wisdom
from author William Arthur Ward:
"Real optimism is aware of problems but recognizes the
solutions,
knows about difficulties but believes they can be overcome, sees
the negatives
but accentuates the positives, is exposed to the worst but expects
the best,
has reason to complain but chooses to smile."
A
DOZEN WAYS GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS HELP GRIEVERS
Most people who have a loss to death
do not need professional counseling. They will adapt and adjust to
their loss
in health ways. However, most people who experience the death of a
loved one
find there are many advantages to being part of a grief support
group. Here are
a dozen ways the bereaved benefit from a support group:
1.
There's no small talk.
The conversations are personal dealing with loss and
recovery. A lot of territory is covered in a 90 minute
session. There's no time for the trivial and unimportant.
2. Emotions are expressed and
explored. The people present are there to be supportive as
feelings are
expressed and explored. So, what's inside of you gets outside of
you.
3. A grief comfort level is
established. In a grief support group you will realize that "I'm
not alone
in this experience."
4.
Feelings of isolation are relieved. In a group filled with
others
who have share a similar experience, you will begin to feel
'normal' with your experience.
5.
Education takes place. Information is shared and exchanged.
Books, worksh0ps, DVDs, magazine articles about grief recovery are
cited.
6.
Role models. You will find people who are ahead of you in
the
grief process. They will become guides and role models for
you.
7.
You will become a role model. Once you are past the initial
pain
and struggle, you will experience the joy of being a role model to
someone
who's grief is fresh and raw.
8.
Emotional and social support. You will not only receive
emotional
support but social as well. A Support group allows you to relax
and enjoy other
people.
9. Feelings will be validated.
Others who have
had a loss to death are skilled at validating your own feelings
and
frustrations. Additionally, any
lingering feelings of guilt and regret will be softened by the
insights of
others in the group.
10.
Applause. You will be applauded and commended for new
steps taken and new accomplishments achieved.
11.
Laughter. Because people in a grief support group are
all "on the same page" there is comfort
level and understanding which allows laughter and humor to flow
freely and
naturally.
12. New friends are made. One
man
says: "I used to come here to get
support. Then I began coming to give support. Now I come to see my
friends."